Loosing them..

I wanted to thank each and everyone of you for all your kind words for
both Peppermint Patty and Rockets crossing. I had gone to digest on some of the lists and couldn't figure out how to reply so i went back to individual emails.
But although i have saved each everyone's words i am unable to cope
with replying to you separately. It seems the older i get the harder
it is or maybe i was always too soft and am good for nothing when
hope is lost and i must face and react to the inevitable out come.

Wyatt is still in my house with a Foley catheter giving him the relief
he needs from still being unable to urinate on his own. He is on
antibiotics to ward off infection because of this life saving tube
coming from his belly. He has been fed feline 'dissolution" since this
all began almost three weeks ago. I have been also treating him with
homeopathic to help dissolve the stones, bring the inflammation down
in his urethra and muscle relaxers such as arnica to also deal with any
pain. Yesterday I finally got the methione tablets after taking matters
into my own hands and getting another vet to call the script in and
Paula and I driving an hour away last night to get them. For some
reason my vet who saved him thus far as not returned my calls for two
days and I am not sitting around waiting with out doing something .

My emotional state wants me to run from it all and yesterday wanting
to remove all the bedding from Rockets house as i seem to need to do
after but i could only close the gate and return to the little pig here
inside and a blanket i could put over my head. I pray all the time to God
to give me strength to do what i must do here but i must pray harder. And
if not for Paula and my Mom coming to every beck and call down here i
would no doubt be racing up the street like a madman fleeing from my
commitments as sometimes it is just too hard to bare.

Forgive my ramblings but in writing them my natural defence in it all
gathers up my stubbornness and turns it into courage for the noses left
behind who need me so they are able to live there life until God calls
them home.

Please pray for Wyatt that today is the day he pee's on his own.